I just realized I haven't shared any of the odd casting notices that have landed in my email in the last few weeks. Time to see if there are any parts that are perfect to get your career going.
- Large hulking 20-29 male actor wanted for a superhero short film. You will be the conflicted hero saving kids and puppies while trying to eat your lunch. Must be willing to eat multiple hot peppers and snack cakes on screen.
- Overweight yet muscular 50-65 male of yet to be determined ethnicity to be the head of a vegetation related crime family. Are you the "Sodfather" we're looking for?
- Looking for an actress in her 30s who can sing to help publicize our Kickstarter campaign. Must be able to carry a show tune as well as rap and twirl a baton. Any ethnicity welcome.
- Casting real football players, coaches and water boys for feature length film. The White House has bet our freedom on a high school game between the team and alien invaders. Players and water boys must be 22-28 and in shape.
- Looking for a ukulele player to perform Drake songs for the soundtrack of an upcoming film. Must be able to read music.
- Seeking Mexican and Asian teens for movie about summer love and first heartbreak. Must be able to swim the backstroke, climb a rope and fart on command.
- Seeking authentic country band willing to perform EDM in the style of "bro country". Send demo tape with your country versions of EDM songs ASAP.
- Are you a petite Filipino nurse willing to work nude at a retirement home for a one-day shoot? Must be comfortable around older and slightly racist people.
- Love fast cars and wrestling? We're looking for people skilled in both for stunt work. Must be willing to drive in a sumo suit and wear a mask while going 120 MPH.
- Casting now for a family film about the attachment people have to their goldfish. Must currently own multiple goldfish, know them all by name and be willing to let them appear in the film.
While you might think some of the above films are not a good fit for you, they just might be your ticket to move stardom. Break a leg!
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