I just deleted around 30 emails full of casting calls. I love reading through them because I'll always find a odd casting gem or two to share with you.
I hope you enjoy the seven "best" casting calls listed below:
***Film crew looking for 30+ female talent with a sexy smile and a desire to seduce other women with the power of her high voltage smile, sexy legs and love of squirrels.
(That's the kind of ad that makes me love creative types.)
***Looking for actors willing to do artistically shot nude scenes in the desert for a short film. Will pay for gas or sunscreen (one but not both).
(Do you choose the sunscreen to save your skin or the gas to get you out of the desert before you fry to death?)
***Seeking two actresses for a fun, but not sexual, hot tub scene where you play with battleships and have a rubber duck war.
(I might be alone in this opinion but what's more sexy than two women having a rubber ducky battle??)
***Do you picture yourself as a private detective? Want to solve crimes and get the girl? Looking for a 30-45 male with a well worn face who has been on the wrong side of a fist one too many times in the last few years. Crime solving experience is a plus but not necessary.
(I don't know if I count as "well worn" but I've been involved in a fistfight or ten in my lifetime.)
***Seeking Hispanic men ages 70-92 for gambling scene at a local casino. Must be able to sit for long periods of time, appear puzzled at the cards in front of you and curse like a marinero on camera.
(How about they just go to a casino and scan the crowd? I'm almost certain they'll find men of any ethnicity between the ages of 70-92 hanging out at the casino.)
***Ultra low budget indie film seeks background music at a VERY discounted rate. Samba or Cumbia desired the most. We can't pay much but you will get a credit in the film.
(Translates to...Our immediate family members will enjoy your music as no one else will ever see this film.)
***Need 40+ male actor to record a Chinese accent voice over. You will speak of many terrible things that have happened to you on your journey. Not accepting authentic Chinese VO artists at this time.
(There's no way to make fun of that ad. The stupidity speaks for itself.)
Do you fit any of the above casting calls? If so, get ready to be a star!!!
I Don't Feel This Actor Is Right For Any Of These Roles
Friday, January 30, 2015
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Tales From The Audition Room
It's been an exciting 24-hours at our home. Zach had the biggest audition of his young career for a feature film. The details fall under the "I don't want to say too much and jinx it" category. I can say that I had more fun watching the behavior of the other folks in the waiting room of the casting office.
The casting office was located on Wilshire Blvd. It was the perfect part of Wilshire with no great shortcut possibilities. There seemed to be no difference between going:
*The 101 to Highland to Wilshire
Or
*Ventura to Laurel Canyon to Crescent Heights to Wilshire
Or
*Ventura to Highland to Wilshire
We arrived at the audition and found three kids and two parents waiting in the room. That's when the fun began for me.
We found the check-in sheet and were instantly confused. There were two separate sheets with actors signing in for the same character on both sheets. We located the sheet with the actual name of the project and signed Zach in so he could wait his turn.
A rather pissy casting assistant emerged a few minutes later and called Zach into the room. One of the stage moms instantly accused us of cutting in line. The casting assistant said Zach's name was next on the list. When she ordered him to look at the other list, the casting assistant said "you mean the list for a project that isn't even being cast today???" We told the guy not to worry about it and to let the others audition before us.
The kid without a parent went in for his audition which left the two moms and their kids in the room with us. One mom whipped out her phone to play a game that involved rather loud beeps, boops and clanging noises. She would look at the screen and then look at everyone in the room to see if the noises were annoying us. Everyone ignored her which caused her to try and make more noise with the phone. She finally stopped playing when her kid looked at her and asked her to please stop making so much noise so he could focus on his script.
The other mom waited about a minute and then took out her phone to make an urgent call. The "urgent call" went to "the agent" of her kid. She let the fake agent know her kid was well prepared and going to nail the audition. Her face turned pale as she started giving one word answers to the other person on the line. She ended the conversation with "Mommy will be home soon honey with dinner". She was either talking to her kid or has a really odd relationship with the fake agent.
Zach finally got his chance to enter the room. I was alone for about a minute when another set of kids entered the room. One kid started spinning in circles as a way to warm up and get his energy flowing. The other kid felt the need to sing show tunes as a way of finding the character. As the script has nothing to do with singing, show tunes or musical moments, I'm afraid he might be way off in his character prep.
The spinning in circles kid entered the room after Zach's audition. The show tunes kid was supposed to go next but he decided to take a bathroom break even though he was next on the list. The pissy casting assistant also declared to all of us that the kid 'WOULD NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO AUDITION!!!!!'. I don't think any of us were worried one way or another but he felt the need to share that info.
Zach and I left the office and walked to the elevator. A guy with headshots and headphones got on the elevator after us in the lobby. His audition outfit consisted of a hedgehog t-shirt, purple shorts and mismatched shoes.
Good luck with that first impression.
This Guy Is Waiting To Hear If He Gets A Callback
Zach finally got his chance to enter the room. I was alone for about a minute when another set of kids entered the room. One kid started spinning in circles as a way to warm up and get his energy flowing. The other kid felt the need to sing show tunes as a way of finding the character. As the script has nothing to do with singing, show tunes or musical moments, I'm afraid he might be way off in his character prep.
The spinning in circles kid entered the room after Zach's audition. The show tunes kid was supposed to go next but he decided to take a bathroom break even though he was next on the list. The pissy casting assistant also declared to all of us that the kid 'WOULD NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO AUDITION!!!!!'. I don't think any of us were worried one way or another but he felt the need to share that info.
Zach and I left the office and walked to the elevator. A guy with headshots and headphones got on the elevator after us in the lobby. His audition outfit consisted of a hedgehog t-shirt, purple shorts and mismatched shoes.
Good luck with that first impression.
This Guy Is Waiting To Hear If He Gets A Callback
Sunday, January 25, 2015
My Teenager Has No Use For Me (Almost!)
Zach just wrapped a week of work on the new Nickelodeon series, "Bella and the Bulldogs".
The series tapes at Nick on Sunset. It's funny being there at night as the crowd starts to come alive on Sunset Blvd. I was there Friday night as a show called "Wasteland" was happening at The Hollywood Palladium. The style of the people attending the show was a cross between steam punk, S&M and British royalty. I pulled into the Palladium lot to park so I could walk over to the set to get Zach. The parking attendant saw me dressed in jeans, a John Varvatos t-shirt and Chuck Taylors and told me I was little overdressed for the show. I explained why I was there and he laughed and showed me where to park.
When I was in my early 20s and imagined hanging out in Los Angeles on Sunset Blvd on a Friday night, Nickelodeon Studios never entered the various scenarios in my mind.
My Friday night arrival was the only reason Zach needed me this week. He is "Legal 18" now and doesn't need me on set.
If you haven't heard, Zach worked ahead in his school assignments the last couple of years. He was able to graduate high school early (back in November). Even though he is only 16 years old, he's a legal adult in the eyes of the film industry. What does this mean on set?
***He had later call times this week.
The underage actors always arrive on set at least an hour early to take care of their school hours. "Bella" uses a lot of kids for school scenes and football games. The laws of the state of California require them to attend school for a certain amount of hours each week. The last day of filming for the week is always the nighttime football game for the episode. The producers try to bank plenty of hours earlier in the week so they don't experience a ton of down time on the last day with kids having to go to school on set.
If Zach's call time was 2pm, the minor kids had to arrive at noon or 1pm to take care of school. Zach was loving the fact that he did not have to get there at the same time. The downside of this is he's now regarded as an adult so he doesn't get the required minor break times anymore. It still worked out for him as he took breaks while they went back to school during the shooting day. Plus, he still got to hang out with his friends on set.
***He doesn't need adult supervision anymore.
The first day on set this week was a typical day, I arrived with Zach, got him checked in with the production and started filling out his daily paperwork, Normally, my job would be done and I would settle in for a day of chasing freelance gigs/working freelance gigs on my computer while he was busy being an actor.
I brought a copy of his "Legal 18" paperwork so the Nick folks would have it for their permanent records. I wasn't sure if they needed any other paperwork so I was prepared to hang all day if I didn't have all the paperwork required by law.
Thirty minutes later, I was leaving the studio. It turns out I had the necessary paperwork and the kid was on his own for the rest of the day.
I don't mind telling you....That was a really odd feeling.
Zach and I have been together on 80-90% of the sets in Los Angeles as well as other cities. I'm happy that he is able to work on his own now but it's a little sad at the same time (my little boy is all grown up!).
***He still needs me for a ride to and from work.
Zach does not have a car (yet) so I still take him to and from work. I still have to walk him onto the set because I need to A) get my visitor pass and B) find out what time the production thinks they're going to wrap for the day. I like to have an idea when they'll be done so I can plan on what time to pick him up at the studio.
I arrived Friday at 10:45pm since the last scene was scheduled to be shot by 11:15pm. They wrapped ten minutes after I arrived. We departed 25-minutes later after he changed out of his wardrobe, took care of his paperwork and said bye to his fellow Bulldogs.
It was nice not knowing what happened during his day on set. He was able to fill me in on his adventures and I didn't know the end of the story
As long as he still has time to chat with me, I can live with his not needing me on set.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Are You Ready For Your Pilot Season Auditions???
I drove Zach to an audition on Santa Monica Boulevard last week. It's a casting studio that is always crowded and we've never been there less than an hour.
We got to the casting office and I dropped Zach off at the front door. I needed to find a parking spot and he had to wait for his turn to audition.
I parked and made my way to the studio. I walked in and found.....Nobody in the lobby.
It was the first time I haven't seen a single person waiting their turn to audition at this office.
I found Zach waiting for me outside (I have no idea how we missed each other entering and leaving the building). He told me it was a super quick audition. Three minutes at the most for each person before him and three minutes (if that much) for his audition.
There are different types of auditions faced by actors. With the start of pilot season upon us, it seems like a good time to take a look at the various types of auditions:
1. The Cattle Call/Open Call
This type of audition takes place at an advertised location where actors can be seen without making an appointment. A fantastic way to book extras as well as promote your film to the public and gather community support. These cattle calls can generate media buzz and win people over to backing your film.
Be prepared to stand in line for a long time!
2. Appointment Audition
This is the preferred way to audition. It's easy on the actor because you know what time to arrive for your turn (and always arrive early!!!). It's easy on the casting directors because you know who is reading for the role in your film/show. It doesn't guarantee you will get the role if the producers/casting people want to see you at a certain time. It does give you a boost of confidence to be asked to read for a role!
3. Cold Reading
This type of audition is a great test for the skills of an actor. A cold reading involves getting the script either when you sign in at the audition or when you enter the room with the casting directors. Either way, there is very little time to prepare for the scene.
4. On-Tape Audition
Sometimes you are auditioning for someone who can't be at the audition with you. They might have a prior commitment, they might live in another city or there might be a group of people who can't change their schedules to be in the room at the same time.
A on-tape audition can be recorded in a variety of locations. Many actors stand in front of a white/generic colored wall and record their tape. Others will go to a manager's office or a business that specializes in recording auditions for actors who don't have access to professional recording equipment.
Many casting offices like to conduct auditions this way to minimize the carbon footprint of actors who have to drive/ride the bus/take an Uber to a casting office.
5. The best audition of all....A Callback!
Once the folks in charge of the project have a chance to review the auditions, they decide to call some of the actors back for a second look. The second audition will (more than likely) be in front of people who are higher up in the project decision making process. The callback usually involves the actor doing the same scene as the first audition. This is also when the decision makers will ask for changes in the performance based on what they saw in the first audition. They might love everything you did the first time but just want to see how good you are at taking directions and making changes "in the moment".
Good luck/Break a leg/Kick some butt in your auditions this pilot season! Make each audition the best one possible!
This Actor Has An Audition Tomorrow!
We got to the casting office and I dropped Zach off at the front door. I needed to find a parking spot and he had to wait for his turn to audition.
I parked and made my way to the studio. I walked in and found.....Nobody in the lobby.
It was the first time I haven't seen a single person waiting their turn to audition at this office.
I found Zach waiting for me outside (I have no idea how we missed each other entering and leaving the building). He told me it was a super quick audition. Three minutes at the most for each person before him and three minutes (if that much) for his audition.
There are different types of auditions faced by actors. With the start of pilot season upon us, it seems like a good time to take a look at the various types of auditions:
1. The Cattle Call/Open Call
This type of audition takes place at an advertised location where actors can be seen without making an appointment. A fantastic way to book extras as well as promote your film to the public and gather community support. These cattle calls can generate media buzz and win people over to backing your film.
Be prepared to stand in line for a long time!
2. Appointment Audition
This is the preferred way to audition. It's easy on the actor because you know what time to arrive for your turn (and always arrive early!!!). It's easy on the casting directors because you know who is reading for the role in your film/show. It doesn't guarantee you will get the role if the producers/casting people want to see you at a certain time. It does give you a boost of confidence to be asked to read for a role!
3. Cold Reading
This type of audition is a great test for the skills of an actor. A cold reading involves getting the script either when you sign in at the audition or when you enter the room with the casting directors. Either way, there is very little time to prepare for the scene.
4. On-Tape Audition
Sometimes you are auditioning for someone who can't be at the audition with you. They might have a prior commitment, they might live in another city or there might be a group of people who can't change their schedules to be in the room at the same time.
A on-tape audition can be recorded in a variety of locations. Many actors stand in front of a white/generic colored wall and record their tape. Others will go to a manager's office or a business that specializes in recording auditions for actors who don't have access to professional recording equipment.
Many casting offices like to conduct auditions this way to minimize the carbon footprint of actors who have to drive/ride the bus/take an Uber to a casting office.
5. The best audition of all....A Callback!
Once the folks in charge of the project have a chance to review the auditions, they decide to call some of the actors back for a second look. The second audition will (more than likely) be in front of people who are higher up in the project decision making process. The callback usually involves the actor doing the same scene as the first audition. This is also when the decision makers will ask for changes in the performance based on what they saw in the first audition. They might love everything you did the first time but just want to see how good you are at taking directions and making changes "in the moment".
Good luck/Break a leg/Kick some butt in your auditions this pilot season! Make each audition the best one possible!
This Actor Has An Audition Tomorrow!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Who Reads This Blog Anyway?
It's a quiet night at home.
Dana is working on pie charts for her job.
Zach is attending acting class on a regular basis for the first time in months. He stopped going while he was filming "Marshall" and "Camp Abercorn" in the second half of 2014. Holiday travels also cut into his chance to attend class. He is back on schedule...And very happy about it!
In other words, it's a perfect night to explore my blog and take a look at the stats/numbers behind the views.
1. I always like to see, country-wise, where the views are coming from for each post. Since I started to blog in 2012, the Top 10 views (by countries) are:
*United States
*Malaysia
*Germany
*Russia
*France
*United Kingdom
*Ukraine
*Poland
*China
*Canada
2. I get most of my site traffic from Facebook. In descending order, viewers find my blog via Google, Bing, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Yahoo, direct hits to my site when someone goes straight to the web address and Google Plus. (Isn't G+ the last item in any list????)
3. I've had five random people ask me to host a Google Plus Hangout so we can chat about my blog and Hollywood gossip. They say I can livestream it and then post the video on my blog. I like you too much to subject you to that type of video.
4. I earn enough money from this blog to buy myself lunch once a month. I started this blog as a creative exercise. Any money I get from viewers clicking on ads is a bonus.
(Disclaimer: Dear Google, The previous statement was not intended to get anyone to click on ads on my page. It was only intended as a statement of a benefit I receive from posting on a regular basis. Thank you. Have a nice Google day.)
5. Finally, there are the folks who leave comments on my various posts. I welcome any and all comments (good or bad). In no particular order, my top 3 favorite comments are:
*"I bet your butt has ballooned to a size 46 with all of that fancy snacking you do on Hollywood sets." (For the record, I've had the same waist size for the past 10 years. It's just my hairline that decided to disappear.)
*"Can you get my script to a list of A-List Directors I can send you via email? I just know they'll listen to you since you're a voice of authority in the industry." (I don't think I've ever been called a voice of authority in any situation. Also, I've seen your script and it needs a little work. You call it original. I call it a cross between "Citizen Kane", "Funny Girl" and "Big Trouble In Little China".)
*"I've still never received my prize I won last week. I know you don't work at the radio station anymore but can you call them for me?" (How do I say this politely? No!!!!!)
I really appreciate you taking a look at my blog on a regular basis. It's a creative outlet for me. I hope it's a enjoyable experience for you.
I Bet This Actor Doesn't Bother To Read My Blog
Dana is working on pie charts for her job.
Zach is attending acting class on a regular basis for the first time in months. He stopped going while he was filming "Marshall" and "Camp Abercorn" in the second half of 2014. Holiday travels also cut into his chance to attend class. He is back on schedule...And very happy about it!
In other words, it's a perfect night to explore my blog and take a look at the stats/numbers behind the views.
1. I always like to see, country-wise, where the views are coming from for each post. Since I started to blog in 2012, the Top 10 views (by countries) are:
*United States
*Malaysia
*Germany
*Russia
*France
*United Kingdom
*Ukraine
*Poland
*China
*Canada
2. I get most of my site traffic from Facebook. In descending order, viewers find my blog via Google, Bing, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Yahoo, direct hits to my site when someone goes straight to the web address and Google Plus. (Isn't G+ the last item in any list????)
3. I've had five random people ask me to host a Google Plus Hangout so we can chat about my blog and Hollywood gossip. They say I can livestream it and then post the video on my blog. I like you too much to subject you to that type of video.
4. I earn enough money from this blog to buy myself lunch once a month. I started this blog as a creative exercise. Any money I get from viewers clicking on ads is a bonus.
(Disclaimer: Dear Google, The previous statement was not intended to get anyone to click on ads on my page. It was only intended as a statement of a benefit I receive from posting on a regular basis. Thank you. Have a nice Google day.)
5. Finally, there are the folks who leave comments on my various posts. I welcome any and all comments (good or bad). In no particular order, my top 3 favorite comments are:
*"I bet your butt has ballooned to a size 46 with all of that fancy snacking you do on Hollywood sets." (For the record, I've had the same waist size for the past 10 years. It's just my hairline that decided to disappear.)
*"Can you get my script to a list of A-List Directors I can send you via email? I just know they'll listen to you since you're a voice of authority in the industry." (I don't think I've ever been called a voice of authority in any situation. Also, I've seen your script and it needs a little work. You call it original. I call it a cross between "Citizen Kane", "Funny Girl" and "Big Trouble In Little China".)
*"I've still never received my prize I won last week. I know you don't work at the radio station anymore but can you call them for me?" (How do I say this politely? No!!!!!)
I really appreciate you taking a look at my blog on a regular basis. It's a creative outlet for me. I hope it's a enjoyable experience for you.
I Bet This Actor Doesn't Bother To Read My Blog
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Time For "The Fifth Season" In Hollywood
There's a buzz in the air in Hollywood.
Traffic has gone from "Holiday Mode" to "Los Angeles Normal" (which means I spent 50 minutes on the 405 today to go 5 miles).
Fed Ex/Kinko's is busy with actors printing out their headshots.
No one talks about "The Interview" anymore.
The main focus of actors, directors, producers, studios and networks?
Pilot Season.
I like to to refer to it as "The Fifth Season" in Los Angeles. Some people love summer while others prefer spring. Everyone in Hollywood agrees on the importance of pilot season.
Even with the year round TV production schedule (thanks to FOX and the hundreds of cable channels), pilot season is the traditional time of year the major networks order pilots based on pitches for new shows they received the previous summer/fall. The networks then decide which pilots to pick up and present to advertisers in May at the network upfronts.
The city of Los Angeles loves pilot season because of the amount of people that travel here looking for their big break. The increase in temporary residents means more people attending casting workshops and acting classes, more people spending money on food and drink and more people looking to rent places for months at a time.
Is it realistic to think you'll hit it big during pilot season?
Yes and No.
Nothing is impossible when it comes to finding fame and fortune on a successful show. There's always that one person who "hits the lottery".
It's also a fact of life that many people come to town without an agent. The odds of getting into the room to see a casting director without a decent agent, or even a good set of casting contacts, is not very good for actors without a solid team in place.
It's also important to be able to promote yourself as a viable brand/product. (Shameless Plug: Need some help promoting yourself? It's what I do for a living. Leave me a note in the comments section if you want to discuss it further.) (End of plug.)
Is it the end of the world if you don't book a pilot?
No.
Pilot Season is only a small part (time wise) of the year in Los Angeles. The contacts you make, the lessons you learn and the patience you exhibit waiting to hear about your auditions all serve to make you a better actor in the long run.
The holidays are over and Hollywood begins to come to life again this week. The start of Pilot Season is just a few weeks away so sit back and get ready for the ride.
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