Has it been a week since my last post?

We got an alert from one of the casting sites (on Tuesday night at 8pm) that Zach had an audition on Wednesday morning.  The first order of business was to wash some clothes for his audition.

Our building gives you a laundry card when you sign a lease.  You have to put money on the card to use the washers and dryers.  There are two machines in the lobby that take $5, $10 and $20 for card payments.  They don't take dollar bills and you can't use a credit card to put money on your card.

I went to the lobby to reload my card and found 5 girls looking at a broken machine.  The machine has been broken for a week because one of these ladies put her debit card in the machine instead of her laundry card. She forgot to cancel the card and was trying to get it out of the machine slot.  The girls looked worried because no one could get the card to come out of the slot.  


I asked what I thought was a dumb question, "Have you tried using tweezers?"


They looked at me as if I asked them about the nuclear launch codes.  


I went upstairs to get a pair of tweezers.  I removed the card and its owner yelled, "Now we can get some beer and ice cream!"


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Zach put on his clean audition clothes this morning and we headed out the door to a casting office near Hollywood and Highland.  The office is a block away from Hollywood Boulevard.  The drive to this area of town is simple and takes about 20-25 minutes.


I wanted to leave early so I would have time to get a diet soda.  I didn't take care of this errand because traffic was a nightmare everywhere this morning.  The 101 was backed up so I decided to take the surface streets.  We left at 9:30am and made it to his 10:30am audition with three minutes to spare thanks to two accidents and four construction zones.

But....We did make it on time!

The audition was for an LA Galaxy commercial that will shoot on July 4TH.  I wouldn't mind a soccer game on the holiday.

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The second audition was this afternoon at The Art Center College of Design in Pasadena.  I drove through Pasadena admiring the Rose Bowl, old homes and beautiful yards.

We got to the college and saw this warnig everywhere on campus:

We watched our step as we made our way to the audition.  The audition was for a film involving a boy with two fathers.  The boy is mad that he has two fathers instead of a mother and father.

I bonded at the audition with two of the actors trying out for the roles of the fathers.  They were:

***Coco, age 24, a huge fan of botox and wearing a red tuxedo jacket like a Chinese restaurant busboy.

***Velvet, age 26, a fashion designer who works with chiffon and velour.

We talked about Project Runway, how humidity ruins hair and Aviator sunglasses.

I don't know if Zach got the role but I made some new friends.

A list of random moments from the past week...

It's been another odd week in Hollywood and here are a few of my favorite moments:

***A conversation between a yoga teacher walking to the gym in our building and one of his students:

Teacher: "We're going to work your sex organs until they open up and say 'ribbit'."  

Student: "What kind of noise is that?"

Teacher: "The sound a frog makes."

Student: "Frogs have sex?"

***Our security guard locked himself out of the building twice in one night.

***There is a guy that hangs out in the lobby at night claiming he discovered Miley Cyrus and asking people to play the piano for him so he can help them realize their dreams with his sage advice.

***Zach's auditions on Monday involved Nerf guns and robot dinosaurs.

***I met one guy this week who claims to know what really happened to Natalie Wood and another guy who swears his apartment is haunted by Bruce Lee.

***The librarian in our building was drinking wine by the pool and claiming the Dewey Decimal System is part of a vast government conspiracy to "herd us like sheep".

This place is never boring...

My odd Wednesday adventure

I went on an interview yesterday regarding blogging for a movie production company.  The owner of the company had seen my blog and wanted to talk to me about working for him.  His office is about 5 minutes from my place. 

Sounds easy, doesn't it????

I arrive at his office which turns out to be in his house.  The house is behind a massive metal gate with two dogs barking at anyone approaching the place.  I use the buzzer and they give me the code to enter the gate.  The two dogs chase me all the way up the VERY LONG driveway to the home at the top of the hill.

I park my red pickup next to the other cars in the driveway.  The cars include a BMW, a Z28, a Porsche and a bright yellow Smart Car.

I walk into the house and his assistant leads me into the backyard.  We walk past TWO pools and enter into the back of the home. 

The president of the company is at his desk and I instantly feel like I'm talking to Borat. 

One of the movies he wants to promote is the first film directed by "the voluptuous Connie Stevens".

I almost started laughing but I was also afraid that I might get shot by his security guards.

The guy wasn't sure about the content of the blog posts.  He was certain he wants 100 blog posts per day about the same movie for 4 weeks. 

Not 100 per week...Not 100 per month...100 per day.

He asked me if I thought that amount of posts would be publicity overkill.

Without thinking I answered, "Can you ever post too much about the voluptuous Connie Stevens?"

The conversation turned into his feelings about Ann-Margret vs. Raquel Welch.

I excused myself from the room by promising to get back to him on his 100 blog posts per day idea.  I left the room and was walked to my vehicle by the assistant, the two dogs and a couple of security guys.  I wasn't sure if the security guys were there to escort me to my truck or dump my body in one of the two pools.

I sent him a follow-up email today and he's decided to personally handle writing the 100 daily posts.

I can't say I'm upset by that news!

Your Safety Is Not Our Priority!

Our apartment complex has a security guard on duty every evening from 6pm-6am.  The three guys that handle the job are not the most motivated fellows in the world.  

The first guard hides out all night in the Executive Lounge in the lobby.  He turns off all the lights, closes the blinds and naps for an hour.  He comes out of the room at the top of every hour and writes the hourly security report in his notebook.  His hourly ritual takes him about three minutes and then he returns to the lounge.  His cell phone ring tone is "The Joker" by Steve Miller.

The second guy that keeps us safe at night has a habit of locking all of the bathroom doors.  I heard him tell one resident that he doesn't trust us to not use the bathrooms for "loco behavior".  He also likes to ask pizza delivery guys for ID before allowing them in the building.  I guess the Papa John's cap, shirt and pizza box are not enough evidence for him to determine if they really work for the pizza place.

Our third security guard is the reason I started writing this blog entry.  He watches movies on his computer all night and pays no attention to anything going on in the building.  He doesn't wear headphones so his computer is super loud while the movie is playing.  In the last 30 minutes he has missed a group of guys breaking into the vending machine that is clearly in his line of sight, a drunk guy bumping into the glass doors leading into the courtyard and two girls trying to get in the building using the buzzer that was installed to alert security to people needing help at the front door.

I don't feel safe around these guys...But I am entertained watching them work!

Tips For Parents At Auditions

Do run lines with your child before the audition.
Don't yell line readings as the kid enters the audition room. (Casting directors don't like that move)

Do help with wardrobe in advance of the audition.
Don't try and out-hipster your kid's wardrobe. (They are not casting a 40+ hipster mom for a Nick promo)

Do be polite to others at the audition.
Don't ask another parent this question, "How did you get a better audition time than us????"

Do extend your hand in friendship (or a fist bump...whatever works for you).
Don't tell the other person they have a "firm & sexy handshake". (It seems I have a killer handshake)

Do sign in your actor at the audition.
Don't ask if you can put your name at the top of the list so you can get to Happy Hour on time.

Do be patient in the waiting room of the casting office.
Don't roll your eyes and (loudly) say "this is the slowest audition ever!!!!"

Do be excited about the audition.
Don't talk about the part being nothing but a stepping stone for better roles.

Do say hello to the casting office workers.
Don't complain about every role you didn't book at their previous auditions.

Do offer moral support to your child.
Don't tell your kid to book a job "for once in your life".  (I'm not kidding about that heartwarming moment)

Do dress in a professional manner.
Don't wear short shorts if you are over the age of 60. (A good general rule in life)

A free lunch...A hot role...And big money!

1.  The Artist has returned to Los Angeles after a trip to St. Louis to recharge his batteries.  While most of his Missouri friends are enjoying the first full week of summer, Zach is staying busy this week.

2.  He went to school this morning for a parent/teacher conference where the following events happened:

***I got a chance to review his 7th grade work with his teacher. (Excellent grades)

***He's registered to start 8th grade in July. (His options school program is a year-round program)

***He received his English homework to work on during the short school break in June. (BOO!!!)

***I learned his teacher has a fear of driving up hills. (ODD!)

3.  Zach is still up for the lead of a Disney XD show.  I've been here long enough that I've met a ton of parents whose kids audition against Zach.  The Disney XD role is "a sizzle role" among the 13-17 group of teen actors.  The main topic among the parents is gossip about the casting status of the main role.  I listen to them chat about the project but I try not to get dragged into their conversations.

4.  We had lunch with his manager yesterday in Studio City.  I've mentioned before that a manger is a combination cheerleader/sounding board/free advice expert.  She took us to lunch to see if Zach is still having a good time on auditions and to make sure he is making friends in Hollywood.  While I appreciate her taking the time to check on him, the free food was my favorite part of the experience!

5.  The most exciting thing since we've returned home?  

Zach got his first movie paycheck!!!!!!!!!

His check for being part of the cast of "Golden Winter" was waiting in the mailbox for him on Wednesday night.  It doesn't matter if you're a 13-year-old-boy or a 40-something Dadager, it's very exciting to receive a 4-digit payment in the mail.  It felt like Christmas as visions of GameStop danced in his head!

6.  Zach has a week filled with acting lessons, casting workshops, homework and (we hope) auditions as we  enter the first full week of June.  

I'll keep you updated so I hope you keep reading my blog...And sharing a link to the blog with your friends!

As always, check out Zach on imdb so we can keep his ranking as high as possible (please!).

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4115971/