Your Safety Is Not Our Priority!

Our apartment complex has a security guard on duty every evening from 6pm-6am.  The three guys that handle the job are not the most motivated fellows in the world.  

The first guard hides out all night in the Executive Lounge in the lobby.  He turns off all the lights, closes the blinds and naps for an hour.  He comes out of the room at the top of every hour and writes the hourly security report in his notebook.  His hourly ritual takes him about three minutes and then he returns to the lounge.  His cell phone ring tone is "The Joker" by Steve Miller.

The second guy that keeps us safe at night has a habit of locking all of the bathroom doors.  I heard him tell one resident that he doesn't trust us to not use the bathrooms for "loco behavior".  He also likes to ask pizza delivery guys for ID before allowing them in the building.  I guess the Papa John's cap, shirt and pizza box are not enough evidence for him to determine if they really work for the pizza place.

Our third security guard is the reason I started writing this blog entry.  He watches movies on his computer all night and pays no attention to anything going on in the building.  He doesn't wear headphones so his computer is super loud while the movie is playing.  In the last 30 minutes he has missed a group of guys breaking into the vending machine that is clearly in his line of sight, a drunk guy bumping into the glass doors leading into the courtyard and two girls trying to get in the building using the buzzer that was installed to alert security to people needing help at the front door.

I don't feel safe around these guys...But I am entertained watching them work!