A Terrorist Threat Or Just A Crazy Guy?

Christmas Day is always memorable thanks to family and friends.  Most people look back on Christmas as the time they got engaged, received a gift they weren't expecting or were reunited with family members.

We'll never forget Christmas 2014 thanks to our journey through three times zones and an unexpected landing in New Mexico.

The day started in the Central time zone as we started our journey back to California.  There were so few people at the Memphis Airport that the TSA employees were super chatty about their Christmas plans.  It almost seemed like they weren't really paying that much attention to screening luggage and carry on bags.

We flew from Memphis to Atlanta (time zone two) and had a two-hour layover that gave us time to eat a relaxing lunch.  We boarded the plane for Los Angeles to head home for Christmas night.

Does this sound like a routine flying day to you?  Yes, it was a normal/boring day.  It also goes to show you how a day can turn from boring to scary in an instant.

We were flying on a Delta Airlines 767.  A large plane filled with 200 people heading home to Los Angeles as well as a variety of folks on their way to Northern California, Paris and a handful of other destinations.  We were already past Albuquerque when the Captain came on the loudspeaker and announced we needed to make a emergency landing in Albuquerque due to "a security issue that needed to be taken care of immediately".  He also mentioned we needed more fuel for the flight home due to doubling back to Albuquerque.  We would be landing in New Mexico in about 20 minutes so we were advised to "sit back, relax and prepare for landing".  We were also asked to stay in our seats and not get up until otherwise told by the flight crew.

You could see the instant "oh crap" look on the faces of the passengers.  

I was three rows in front of Dana and Zach.  I couldn't see them but knew I wanted to check on them. Before I could get up, one of the flight attendants came by my seat.  I was next to a kid in his early 20's who politely asked the attendant how long the stop was going to last.  The attendant looked at us and said "it all depends on how long it takes to get it off the plane".

"It"??????

I don't normally talk to strangers next to me on a plane but the kid and I launched into a conversation about "it".  

***Was there someone on board with a gun or bomb?

***Were we being hijacked?  Would we end up in a tropical destination or a dictatorship?

***Did someone call in a bomb threat?

***Was someone threatening to shoot us out of the sky?

***Did some threaten to fly the plane into a building?

***Will our flight be another mysterious disappearance?

***We flew out of Atlanta so was it a drunk rapper causing the problems?

All I knew was I needed to check on Dana and Zach.  I got up acting like I was heading to the bathroom and made a beeline to their row.  There wasn't much time to talk since we were about to land.  We made sure each of us was okay and said "I love you" to each other.  I headed back to my seat to await the landing.

The flight attendants strapped in for the landing and dropped their smiles as they settled into their seats in the back of the plane.  It was the first time I saw them show concern about the situation.

Family members were holding hands across the aisle and parents did their best to keep their kids calm and quiet.

The plane touched down and the pilot reminded us to remain in our seats.  Everyone did just that as they turned on their cell phones to update loved ones.  Dana and I texted back and forth as I filled her in on the phrase "it all depends on how long it takes to get it off the plane".

We were seated WAY in the back of the plane which added to the stress of the situation.  We had no idea what was happening in the front that was causing the emergency landing.  All we could see was a flurry of activity and people moving up and down the front aisle of the plane.

It turns out a passenger in first class was being disruptive and making threats on the plane.  One of the attendants told us they gave the passenger three or four warnings before the pilot decided to take action and make the emergency landing.  The authorities boarded the plane and arrested the disruptive passenger.  They took him away for questioning by the FBI.  According to various news websites, he was investigated but not charged with any crimes.  The same flight attendant also shared the fact the passenger seemed wasted on drugs and completely out of it.

Can you see me waving at you from the plane?

After the passenger was removed from the plane, the pilot came on the loudspeaker and filled us in on the situation.  He gave everyone permission to get up and walk around while the plane was being fueled and prepared to fly to Los Angeles.

I've been stuck on planes where no one could get out of their seats during emergency stops so it was a nice change of pace.  Once when I lived in Memphis, I was flying back to town in a plane that had to make a emergency stop in Nashville.  The stop was so bumpy and terror filled that I walked off with my carry on luggage and proceeded to the rental car companies.  I rented a car and drove back to Memphis.  If Albuquerque wasn't so far from Los Angeles, I would have done the same thing and rented a car to get home.

After a 90 minute wait, we were finally able to take off for home.  Almost.  

Our plane had to taxi to the other side of the airport to find a runway big enough for the plane to depart.  It turns out that Albuquerque doesn't get planes that large on a regular basis so they weren't sure if we could safely take off from the airport.

Once we were in the air everyone was still on edge.  There were so many people that missed their connecting flights, as well as Christmas dinner with their families, that the entire flight was filled with a grumpy group of people.

I don't think I've ever been so happy to see LAX (third time zone).  We were one of the last passengers to get off the plane because we wanted to give people with connecting flights a chance to get started on finding new flights.  Hardly anyone said "thanks" or "Merry Christmas" or "sorry you had to deal with the crazy guy" to the flight crew.  The three of us made sure to thank the entire flight crew as we left the aircraft.  Their holiday was just as messed up as the passengers.  They also had the extra stress of having to remain calm for our benefit as well as the whacked out guy making threats.

It was 10pm by the time we got off the plane, got our bags, waited for the shuttle to the parking garage, found our truck and made it home to Sherman Oaks.  We started our day at 8am Memphis time.  I'm not sure how many hours that works out to thanks to the time zone changes.  I do know we were too tired and strung out to open presents last night.  We ate pizza and went straight to bed after we got home.

It was definitely an adventure that makes you appreciate your family.  Here's hoping that New Year's Eve (and Day) are much calmer!!!!

Will This Story Make It Into His Stand Up Act???

Are You Ready To Answer The Casting Call Of Fame????

Even though we're at the start of the holiday production shutdown in Hollywood, producers are already thinking ahead to their big projects for 2015.  In fact, many new casting notices have landed in my inbox in the past few days.  For the final time in 2014, let's take a look at the latest (and kind of the greatest) casting notices in Hollywood!

*Hispanic 20-32 female with an accurate British accent to play the leader of a sexy all girl motorcycle gang.

*Short, thin 40-50 Asian male who enjoys mud wrestling to be part of a "dirty crew" in a SAG short.

*Handsome yet creepy guy 25-35 with a great body and dulled emotions.

*Hot cougar 55+ who's into yoga and gambling for an industrial film.

*Sexy Russian mermaid 22-25 who is willing to shoot in non-water environments for 2-3 weeks.

*Looking for a Tom Cruise type for an action film.  Must be mid-80s/early-90s Tom Cruise and not present day Tom Cruise.

*Looking for Los Angeles residents who proudly don't know any language besides English.  Don't care to communicate with anyone if they don't speak your language?  We're looking for you!!!

*Comfortable dating, partying and talking about your hook-ups?  Our show is all about kissing, telling and celebrating the way you spend your nights.  Open to anyone 21-70.

*Can you get me in the door at a major network?  I've written three scripts that are hits in the making.  Get me in the door and I'll reward you with a percentage of any sales.

(Not really a casting notice but I found it to be an interesting way to solicit help)

*Do you look like Rose Byrne but have the acting style of Meryl Streep?  Looking for a 30-40 Caucasian with the acting skills of an Oscar winner and the look of a bored housewife.  Must be willing to say any and all swear words we throw at you.

Do any of these projects sound like a fit for you?  Break a leg at your audition!!!

I Hope This Guy Doesn't Fit Any Of These Casting Notices.

A Series Of (Quick) Scenes From Hollywood

***The big news this week has been Sony pulling "The Interview" from movie theaters before its Christmas Day opening.  According to Sony, there is absolutely no way the film will be released on the 25th.  Then why do I keep seeing billboards for the movie all over town?

My phone photo was too dark so I grabbed this photo from USA Today

Shouldn't the first order of business for their marketing team be to take down all of the billboards and bus advertisements???

***Everywhere you go there are people talking about the Sony decision.  You can't go anywhere without a coffee shop employee, record store hipster, gym rat or grocery store checkout clerk giving you their opinion on the decision.

***Zach and Dana left town on Thursday for the Christmas holiday.  I dropped them off at the airport at 4:30pm.  At 4:40pm, my phone rang with a commercial job offer for Zach.  The person was understanding but I hate that he missed the job.  It never fails.  He always gets a job offer when he is out of town.  I've received calls on airplanes waiting to take off, in the middle of the woods in Oregon, at a Walmart in Arkansas and at a Fatburger in Las Vegas.

***One of the main reasons I hate he missed the gig is the annual industry shutdown.  Hollywood pretty much comes to a halt from the days leading up to Christmas through the first Monday of the new year.  Don't get me wrong.  It's nice to have a break but a little extra money is always a good thing.

***I've been getting a ton of emails from shows looking for audience members in January.  It's pretty easy to get tickets to see Kimmel and Conan.  Ellen is a tougher ticket to obtain.  Plus, there are other shows that look for audience members such as "The Talk", "Let's Make A Deal", "Dancing With The Stars" and "Whose Line Is It Anyway" (to name a few).  It's a shame that Craig Ferguson is no longer doing his nightly talk show.  It was far and away my favorite late night program.

***Once the holidays are done, there is a period of about two weeks where the industry begins to ramp up for the new year.  It's also pilot season where everyone hopes to be cast on a network television pilot.  I'll have more to say about that in the near future.

***Have a very happy holiday season.  Thank you for continuing to support my blog this year.  I'll talk to you again before the end of 2014!

I'm Not Done Shopping For This Actor Yet!

Want To Make Sure Your Kid Doesn't Book A Job?

I witnessed one of my all time favorite "parent audition moves" this past week.  I felt bad for the kid actor yet was completely amused by the entire incident.

Zach had an audition on Thursday afternoon at Paramount Studios.  The audition fell in the middle of three events that were happening within two hours.  

Dana and I were working a jewelry show in Studio City so Zach had to be ready for the audition well before the actual audition time.  We went to Studio City at 3pm  to set up for the show while hoping that the "Pineapple Express" storm held off until after the show.  We left Dana at 3:30pm and raced to Paramount Studios. His actual audition time was 4:45pm but I wanted to get him in early because he had another audition at Second City at 5:30pm.  Paramount and Second City are only a little over a mile apart but I wasn't willing to risk getting stuck in LA traffic.

We arrived at 4pm and parked near the Gower gate.  Paramount is a huge lot with a variety of programs filming at any given time.

We got lucky in that the audition room was about 30-seconds away from the gate we used to enter the lot.  The audition was in the Lucy Bungalow Building.  The building is the site of Lucille Ball's personal bungalow/office/dressing room.  The Paramount lot was the site of Desilu Gower Studios from 1957-1967 and "The Lucy Show" was filmed there in the 1960s.

The bungalow is attached to Stage 25 which is often called "lucky" because so many shows there have gone on to great success.  A few of the shows filmed there include "The Lucy Show", "Bosom Buddies", "Cheers" and "Frasier".

We signed in for the audition and waited for Zach's turn.  There was a flurry of activity between casting directors, wardrobe people and various assistants coming in and out of the hallway.  It's getting near the end of year shutdown time for Hollywood so everyone is moving at double speed to get work finished before the break.

There were about 15 people waiting for their time in front of the casting director.  The show was casting for a variety of parts so young and old males and females filled the room.  

At one point the casting director came out and couldn't read the next name on the list.  She tried her best to get the name out but no one was helping her identify the person in question.  In the middle of her frustration, a mother decided to ask a question.  She asked this simple, yet badly timed, question:

"Do you validate parking?"

The question hung in the air as everyone processed what a bad idea it was to ask that question at that moment.  I imagined all of our faces looked like this:

The casting director looked at her, she took a good look at the child there with the mother, and then took one more good look at the mother,  She gave her a very cold and stern "NO" before skipping the name she had been trying to pronounce.

It was easy to tell the poor kid had absolutely no chance at booking the job thanks to his mom. It's always amazing how some people can't read social cues in any situation.

We haven't heard yet if Zach booked the role but I'm confident he still has a chance (unlike the other kid)!

This Actor Knows How To Read The Room

A Very Hollywood Holiday Party

I had the pleasure of attending the SAG-AFTRA Holiday Party tonight.  The party was located at their headquarters on Wilshire Blvd.

Advertised as a night to relax and unwind, it quickly turned into a evening full of people trying to convince everyone else in the room that they have better acting credits.

When you think about it, all of the SAG-AFTRA members in the room have found success because they work enough to be members of the union that represents over 160,000 film, television and radio professionals.  That fact didn't keep everyone from trying to "one-up" anyone within listening distance.

It was like being trapped in a room full of Troy McClures.  "You might know me from my work in the 80s as the voice of the 3rd raisin in the primetime special, 'Meet The Raisins', on CBS".

There was no dress code for the event.  The range of clothes ran from suits to jeans to people who looked like they just emerged from a duck blind.

Here's a rundown of my favorite lines from the night.  Some were said directly to me while I heard the other lines while walking around the party.

*"This is your first year as a member of the union?  How quaint.  I've been a member since before my first facelift."

*"Yo, man!  We did that Doritos commercial together!  Remember when I got drunk and nodded off with my face in a bag of that stuff?  It was like a Doritos cocaine party!!!!"

*"You realize he's only been a glorified extra in a bunch of shows.  I played a coffee shop worker in two episodes of a CW show.  I actually had to hand coffee cups to the lead actors!"

*"My latest project is a cross between 'Law & Order' and 'The Andy Griffith Show' where a folksy lawman solves sex crimes committed by mountain folk on a weekly basis".

*"Your son is an actor?  That's great.  I can easily pass for a teen."  (Of course the guy that said this to me was balding with a beer gut and a wooden leg)

*"Hey!  I remember you!  We did a play together.  You were the lead and I was dressed as a dancing tomato next to the singing onions."

*"People say I remind them of a young Tom Cruise.  I think I look more like a buff Jack McBrayer."

*"We're working on the budget now.  It will play like a cross between 30 Rock and The Love Boat.  They're really similar shows in terms of their jokes."

It was a big night for Zach since it was his first party as a SAG-AFTRA member.  We enjoyed dinner with a group of people from Chicago, Kansas City, Virginia and Montana.  Zach held his own with each person he met at the party.  I was very impressed with his politeness as well as his ability to "talk shop" with people from all walks of life.

He also looked super sharp at the party.

I can't wait to look for some of the people I met on the big, and small, screen.  I always wanted to know the guy who was beat out for a cab by Jason Segel on "How I Met Your Mother".

I'm Proud Of This Guy For Being A SAG-AFTRA Member

He's The Actor, I'm The Dadager With A 101 Fever

Greetings from Hollywood!


I had all sorts of items I wanted to discuss after the Thanksgiving break but my first fever of 2014 has slowed down my ability (and desire) to write a new post.


Let's keep this one simple and go through some casting calls and random thoughts:


*Zach has an audition tomorrow in North Hollywood.  The casting office is next door to a super creepy Toyota (where the 134 meets the 101) where there are a couple of dozen mannequins frozen in some kind of salute.  Maybe it's a "Go Toyota" salute?


*I just checked my fever and the thermometer read "110".  I'm going to assume my vision is blurry (since I'm not in a coma) and says it's really "101".


*A casting director is looking for a "attractive and unstable female who is a firecracker ex-wife in real life".


*A casting call for a "perverted and awkward Caucasian" is a very generic casting call in Hollywood.  You can go on any street and find that type.


*We were in Nashville over the weekend.  Lower Broadway in downtown Nashville is like Hollywood Blvd if you substitute cowboys for superheroes.


*A Los Angeles based reality show company is looking for attractive single mothers willing to have another child with no strings attached from the father.  Classy.


*A clothing company is looking for James Bond look-a-likes from the entire spectrum of Bond actors.  Does that include David Niven?


*I walked past a film crew last week and enjoyed watching two guys try to negotiate a elephant costume into a Mustang Convertible.


*I just realized I've been staring at the screen for ten minutes.  I checked my fever and it is still "101".  I should call it a night.  Talk to you soon.


Have To Keep My Germs Away From This Actor

How Did I Get A Kid Old Enough To Be In College???

This week marked a huge milestone in Zach's life as he finished high school.  He is 16 years old and is set to become a college student in January.

How did he move so quickly from high school to college?  The answer is the California High School Proficiency Examination (the CHSPE).  You have to be at least 16 years old or in 10th grade to take the test.

He's been enrolled in an Options program since we moved to California.  The program has been great because he got a FANTASTIC teacher who was understanding about his odd schedule.  I can't name the amount of times I called her two hours before his appointment to say, "Zach just booked a gig and can't come in for three days".  She always rolled with the changes and made sure Zach was able to get to the center and hand in his homework.

Options allows students to move forward at their own pace so Zach was able to move from grade to grade much quicker than traditional school.

The CHSPE test consists of various sections including a math portion.  We got Zach a tutor for the math section because my math knowledge expired when he was in the 4th or 5th grade.  He was only able to get one session in with the tutor because of the filming of "Camp Abercorn".  My great plan to have him study on set and take practice tests was derailed by the lack of Internet in the woods of Oregon.  (On the plus side, we had a great time exploring the woods!)

The test took place at various locations in the Los Angeles area in October.  Zach went to the Woodland Hills location and saw 3 or 4 kids he knew from acting classes around town.  After the test, he felt confident about passing but the month long waiting period for the results was ahead of him.

We found out on Monday that he passed.  Dana was on an airplane waiting to depart Arizona and texted us the results.  I was sitting in a chair in Fallas Paredes in Van Nuys returning a work phone call.  Zach was in the middle of a test at Options when he got the news.  Even though his first thought was "this doesn't matter anymore", he finished the test before leaving for the day.

What does the test mean for Zach?

*He is now finished with high school and moves on to two years of community college.  He is only 16 and we're afraid that UCLA might be too big a change for him/too big a campus for him at this point in his life.  He will go to Glendale Community College (the inspiration for the TV show "Community") for two years and then transfer to UCLA.

*He now has "Legal 18" work status.  One of the reasons many producers hire people over 18 to play teenagers is their age.  Actors under 18 years old can only work a certain amount of hours per day, have to attend three hours of school per day and need mandatory "play time" to relax on set.  This costs the production company money since they have to stop filming after a certain amount of hours and it also adds the extra expense of hiring a set teacher.  Zach is now considered an adult who can work an unlimited amount of hours and doesn't have to attend school on set anymore.

*It also means he can move forward with his education.  Options was a good program for his schedule but it wasn't challenging him academically.  He is looking forward to attending college.

It's really odd to think about the fact I have a kid in college.  He's gone from playing football in Missouri, as well as playing string bass in a college orchestra, to college in California.

He's gone from this:

Not an actual Missouri football photo.  This is a picture from the set of a Nickelodeon show he worked on last week.

As well as this:

Photo taken on land and not underwater in Bikini Bottom.

To this:

Stand Up at Sal's Comedy Hole.

And this:

I'm proud of him but I'm not old enough to have a college age kid!

The move to college will open up many possibilities for his acting career.  I can't wait to share the next phase of his life with you!

This Actor Is Now A College Student

Watching The Parents At Work On Set

Zach just wrapped a week as a "football specialist" on a new Nickelodeon show.  The phrase "football specialist" means he gets paid a higher rate than other players on the team since he has a background playing the sport.

I spent four days with him on set and met a variety of parents.  I'm always amazed at some of the behavior I see from other parents.  Let's take a look at the Top 5 Bad Behaviors I witnessed this week:

*There was one family obsessed with free food.  The mom would bring her kid in the morning for his call time.  The rest of the family would show up later in the day to "watch filming".  They would always make it before lunchtime.  The whole family (5 in all) would enjoy a free lunch and then leave for the day.  The mom would spend the rest of the day placing snacks and sodas in her purse to take home that night.

The production crew had two food trucks on site one day.  The mom was told to let the production crew eat first but she still cut in line to get free food.  The whole family was there for lunch and ordered nine items to split between themselves.

Finally, there were so many people on set on Friday that lunch was a "walkaway".  We had an hour to go find food and make it back for the next scene.  "The Food Family" was not happy about this! They decided to camp out in the green room and helped themselves to a lunch of snacks, fruit, string cheese and soda.

*There was a dinner break for a group of about 50 extras on Friday night.  The production crew needed them for another scene so they had to leave the dining area before they had a chance to eat.  I saw two parents grab a dining tray filled with pasta and carry it to their table in the lobby and proceed to dig in with two forks and no plates.

*There's always "that mom" who drops her kid off and doesn't bother to stay on set.  It's not always because the parent needs to go to work and can't stay with the child.  It's normally a case of the parent seeing a chance for a free day away from the kid!  There was one kid on set who didn't even have a parent drop him off.  This 14-year-old had to take a combination of the red line and a cab to get to set each day.  I helped him with his paperwork every morning and made sure he kept up with his football gear.

*There was one mom determined to get her son a bigger part on the show.  She planted herself in front of the production office trailer on set and made it a point to talk to every person coming in and out of the trailer.  She offered to get them coffee, laughed at their jokes and invited them over for dinner on the weekend. (I'm not kidding)  I don't know if any of this behavior helped her but they certainly knew her by the end of the week.

*I can't forget to mention the mother who made cookie plates for the director and his crew.  What a lovely way to say thanks for including my son in this project.  I'm sure they would have enjoyed the cookies and complimentary headshot and demo reel of her kid but she was caught by one of the production assistants before she completed the deed.

Here are the lessons I learned this week:

1.  I need to step up my game and stop trying the old fashioned method of having Zach study his craft and work hard.

2.  I need to just kick him out of the car and enjoy some "me time" away from the set.

3.  Food is for parents and not for the hard working crew.

4.  Most parents of child/teen actors suck.

Zach should be back on set in the next week or two.  I'm sure I'll have plenty of new parent stories to share in the coming weeks!

This Kid Has A Good Mom. The Dad Is Odd.

Standing Out In A Sea Full Of Kids

It's been a slow time for auditions for The Artist.

Part of the reason for this was his crazy schedule this past summer.  He booked the Marshall movie in May so he couldn't audition for anything that filmed in June.  We weren't sure about the start date for Camp Abercorn (or the length of time required for the filming) so he was only able to audition for projects that were scheduled for a day or two of filming.

Once we got back from Oregon, a good portion of the audition notices were non union which kept him out of the running since he is a member of SAG.

Don't get me wrong...The kid needed the break to catch up on school, see his friends and work on his stand up comedy.  It's still nice to have an audition or two on the horizon.

He landed an audition through his theatrical agent this past week.  The process of preparing for the audition kicked into high gear because there's more to the process than simply saying you'll be there on time.

1.  The first step is to find out more about the people producing the show.  What have they worked on in the past?  Do they focus on one specific type of show?  Finding out what they've worked on in the past can give you clues of what they might be looking for with their latest project.

2.  The script is important because it leads to a series of questions:

*What is the voice of the character?  The way the character acts in the script helps to determine the sound of the character.  Accent? No accent? Loud? Low Key?

*Is there a need to visit an acting coach for the script?  There are plenty of times Zach feels comfortable enough to study the script on his own.  Every now and then he wants some guidance from one of his acting coaches.  He's had three or four great coaches in the past few years and he trusts them when it comes to acting.  He felt pretty confident about this script so he decided to study it solo.

*What is the character's status in relation to the other characters in the script?  Figuring out if you're the lead, the sidekick or a fringe character is a big help in determining the way the character plays off the other members of the scene.

3.  Determining what to wear to an audition is always interesting.  You don't want to go in character because casting directors hate when actors show up dressed in character.  You want to dress to impress but not be overdressed for the meeting.  (I realize it sounds like I'm describing a job interview).

A running joke in town is boy actors love to wear their "Blue Book Me" shirt.  Blue is a neutral color that works well with a variety of pants and shoes.  It's also a color that won't scream at you when viewing a taped audition.  It needs to be a crisp blue rather than a faded blue because faded doesn't make a good impression and will appear washed out on a tape.

(Why yes, I love watching fashion shows and fashion competition shows.  Why do you ask?)

We got Zach's wardrobe together, ran the lines with him and headed off to the audition.

We entered the room to a sea of kids wearing (pretty much) the same outfit.  Lots of crisp blue shirts, jeans that looked designer (but not showy), teens around the same age as Zach and stage moms coaching their kids on the script.

Zach spotted a friend in the room and went to sit with him.  I took a seat and tried my best to avoid getting in a conversation with any of the other parents in the room.  I wasn't trying to be rude but comparing head shots and agents was not at the top of my conversation topics for the day.

The young actors were brought back to see the casting director in a big group so the waiting room was only filled with the parents.  One mom came over to me and asked what I thought of the script.  I replied, "It had the correct amount of periods and commas dictated by the words in the script".

She looked at me as if I had two heads.  She asked me if I found the script funny. I replied, "The amount of times I laughed was directly related to the amount of jokes placed in the script we received via email".

(I'm practicing for my future imaginary job as a movie reviewer)

She walked away and I continued to read an article on my phone.

Zach bounded out of the audition room about 15 minutes later.  He was in good spirits and filled me on the details once we left the building.

That's another "Hollywood thing"....No one discusses an audition until you leave the building because you don't want to give any hints (good or bad) to the others actors up for the part.

He felt really good about the audition.  He wasn't sure if he nailed the audition but he was certain he made a good impression on the casting director.

Two hour later we got the word that he has a callback for Monday afternoon!  Please think good thoughts for my favorite teen actor!

He Was Not Wearing "Book Me Blue" To The Audition

October Casting Call Roundup

By popular demand, it's the return of the latest and greatest film and reality TV casting calls that have hit my email inbox in the last few weeks.  Are you ready to see if you have what it takes to make it in Hollywood???

***Smart, Superficial, Independent 18-27 Mandarin Speaking Female for lead as Undercover Ninja Nanny in SAG film.

***65-75 African-American Vietnam Vet Male with a love of boy bands for TV pilot.

***Unrealistically (almost superhuman) attractive man in his late 20s to play Glorified Male Companion in a web series.

***Looking to rent a Prsche for three scenes to film downtown this weekend.  Do you have a Prsche in decent shape?  If so, I'd like to rent your Prsche!  (And yes, it was spelled that way all three times)

***Are you a Celebrity?  Are you close to being a Celebrity?  We're looking for a Celebrity to record commercials for radio and TV advertising.  If you're interested and a Celebrity (or close to being a Celebrity), please respond with your credentials as well as your IMDb link.  We'd love to know what shows or movies you've appeared in over the years.

We look forward to learning more about your Celebrity status.

***Looking for a smart kid who can be a smart ellic to our host. (Yes, it was spelled "ellic")

***Looking for a smart sassy independent 10-year-old to be the lead in a film about the world's youngest CEO.  The actor will be the CEO of a Hookah company that targets pre-teens.

***Have you been attracted to your wife's sisters?  Have you acted on it?  Are you still acting on it?  Do you feel comfortable revealing it to your spouse?

***Looking for a gifted 20-30 female to portray a dead hooker murdered by a Rick Ross type music producer in a parody of "The Sound Of Music".

***Seeking a 45-57 Asian female who can throw a convincing windmill pitch.

***Seeking a young Adam West type actor to portray the Emperor of Japan in WWII.

***Good at baseball play by play?  Seeking a 30-35 male to call PBP for a scene in a feature about goat baseball teams.

If you fit any of the above casting calls, I'm a little worried for you.  Having said that, good luck becoming a star!!!

I Hope This Guy Doesn't Fit Any Of These Casting Notices

How Do Most Actors Pay The Bills?

It's been an interesting year for me.  I've met a variety of actors thanks to Zach's acting projects.  The one thing I've noticed is most of them don't make a full time living as actors.

How do these folks fill their time and pay the bills?

I didn't meet anyone who waited tables (which is the occupation everyone thinks of as "the job" for actors).

Here are the 5 most common professions among the folks I met this year:

***Temp Work/Contract Work
I met a few folks who work at home taking care of data entry, typing and transcribing.  These skills allow them to make extra money with little to no responsibility.  The lack of any office to travel to on a daily basis helps them balance work and auditions with no problems.

***Babysitter
Besides the actors I met this summer, I also know three other Los Angeles residents who babysit for a living.  It's a gig that allows you a good amount of flexibility.  Of course, it helps if you're good with kids!

***Dog Walker/Dog Sitter
This is a great option because you can take the pooches out early in the morning and late at night.  It's a schedule that frees you up for classes and auditions.  Put up some flyers on street corners or in a coffee shop and you'll be in business.

***Personal Trainer
Actors need to stay in shape and look their best at auditions.  Why not put your time to good use and make some extra money teaching classes?  You don't have to work at a gym to be a personal trainer. There's also a big market for good looking personal trainers to be lusted after by their clients.

***Promo Work
There are a ton of companies (some long standing and some fly by night) that are always looking for event workers and promo models.  A lot of this work consists of handing out flyers, demonstrating products at Costco or in grocery stores, conducting surveys and getting people to sign up to vote or support local issues.  If you don't mind interacting with the public then this is a good side job for you. Plus, you should be skilled at talking to complete strangers if you want to be an actor.  Meeting casting directors and going to auditions is a big part of the acting process so you need to be comfortable interacting with others.

I'm sure there are other side jobs for aspiring actors.  The list above are the jobs I heard most during conversations on set.  It's always interesting to hear how people pay their bills while chasing their dreams.

This actor has a side job called "going to high school".

You Can Take The Man Out Of Camp...But His Back Reminds Him Of Camp Bunks

Dear Mom and Dad,

Zach and I are home from a wonderful week in Oregon.  We're happy to be back but we are still talking about our fellow campers.

I'm glad to be back in civilization because I now have a good Internet signal and can share the excitement of camp with you in photos.

We stayed at an actual girl scout camp founded in 1924 outside of Sandy, Oregon.  Here's the sign that greets you when you enter the campgrounds.

Shhh...This is "Hollywood Magic".  The real name is of the place is Camp Namanu.

Here the guy that founded the camp.  His picture makes him look like a Scooby-Doo villain.

The first thing we did at camp was get some dinner.  The folks filming the pilot had great cooks on staff that gave us filling meals and plenty of snacks in the kitchen.  I know you were worried about my one food item request but it was granted by the camp counselors.  I had plenty of Diet Coke!  My request was rewarded with cases of the lovely drink available at all times since we were nowhere near a store.

The guy Zach is talking to is named "Porcupine" and he lives on the camp grounds.

After we ate dinner on the first night we made our way to our cabins.  The ride to the cabins, as well as the camp, took place at night so it was hard to tell where we were going and how far it was from the mess hall.  We got to our assigned cabins and here's how we were able to tell which building was our cabin after hours:

We were in the kids section of the camp with the "Pooh Bear" names.

The one piece of art/decoration on the cabin wall.

We quickly discovered the lack of reliable Internet and cell phone signals in the camp.  That's why I couldn't send you any photos before this letter.

It was time to explore the camp after we woke up the next morning.  It was interesting to put together buildings and distances in the daylight.

The exterior of our cabin.  We were the only cabin residents 5 of the 7 days of the camp session.

A structure in the meadows in the middle of the camp grounds AKA "A Thinking Spot".

Don't be fooled by the photo.  Too cold to swim!

The cabin belonging to Zach's character, Willy.

"The Wishing Rock" out in the woods.  I wished for world peace and a better Internet connection.

The first day was a table read of the script and scene rehearsals.  It was interesting to watch the cast bond as a unit so quickly.

Costume fitting.

Zach only had a couple of scenes on Monday morning so we rode into town that afternoon to try and get my Wi-Fi hot spot repaired.  Tuesday was a day off for him so we goofed around in camp during the morning.  We spent the afternoon in town at a local coffee shop so I could get some work done for clients.

This was posted at the coffee shop.  The phrase "Portland's French Troubadour" made me LOL.

Zach was on set working the rest of the week.  You'll be proud of me because I made a lot of new friends during the second half of the week.

I was the only person at camp with no assigned position for the pilot.  I was afraid that my award at the end of camp would be "Best Camper With No Purpose".  I pitched in wherever possible.  I helped set up tables in the mess hall, built tents for a night scene and collected and transported luggage on the final day of camp.

The entire week was fast and furious but it was fantastic to watch a group of people passionate about a project band together despite little sleep, a rapidly approaching end of shoot deadline, chilly weather conditions, late night scenes and various personality types.  The entire camp quickly bonded and worked together to further the dream of making "Camp Abercorn" a reality.

The crew trying to stay warm on the last night of shooting out at the lake,

One of the scenes involves the campers being in a lake at night.  Here is a "before and after" of Zach on the last couple of days of shooting:

Dry Scout.

Wet (but happy) Camper.

The cast and crew stayed up all night the final two nights of the shoot to make sure every scene was perfect.  I watched filming for a few hours the next to last night and then went into the production office to take care of some social media work for various clients.  That entire night (for me) can be summed up in these words: tamales, Oregon beer, wet actors, social media content creation, little sleep and a lot of laughs.

I've taken up enough of your time and I need to get back to work.  

Zach and I are ready to get back to camp to continue working on "Camp Abercorn".  The one change I'll make on the next trip?  Bringing a blow up air mattress for my back. I'm not exactly cut out for sleeping on bunks anymore!

Camp Abercorn - Ready To Go!

The IMDb page of my cabinmate at Camp Abercorn.

My Latest Letter From Camp Abercorn

Dear Mom and Dad,

We’ve had a lot of adventures so far and met so many people at Camp Abercorn.  The only downside to the camp is a lack of a decent internet signal.  It’s keeping me from sending you any photos with this letter.  I’ll show you the photos when I get to another location with decent Wi Fi.

The first night at camp was short because we got in so late in the evening.  “We” being Zach, myself and two of the other actors on the show.  Zach is the only teenager actually playing a teenager in the show.  The other “teens” are in their 20s.  They are all super nice to Zach but slightly older than him.

It wasn’t until Sunday morning that we got a good look at the camp grounds.  On Sunday, it looked green and lush and just like summer.  By Tuesday, the temps had dropped and the leaves had started changing colors.  Fall is now in the air.

The first full day in camp (Sunday) was nothing but a rehearsal day.  Zach practiced a scene where he announces a contest as well as a scene where he chases after another camper on a bike.  The bike scene is the first scene he shot on Monday.

Each cabin is equipped with 12 bunks.  Not beds.  Bunks.  Everyone was advised to bring sleeping bags to camp to use for extra warmth and sleeping comfort.  The cabins all have indoor plumbing.  The only non-bathroom lights in the place are in the living room as you enter the cabin.  The bedrooms have no lights or electricity so it’s definitely bed time when you go to your room at the end of the night. 

There are three places that get a decent cell phone signal at camp:

*The parking lot at the top of the hill (entrance to the camp)

*The meadow in the middle of the camp grounds

*The back parking lots by the cabins. 

The back parking lot is outside our cabin.  It’s really odd that the signal areas are all an equal distance from each other.  You’ll usually find a gathering of people in the lot walking around trying to find any spot where they can get two or more bars on their phones.

The other thing about camp is that it is an actual boy/girl scout camp.  There are no TV’s, no game rooms and no general stores to pick up any necessary items.  The main social activity at night is dinner in the dining hall.  It’s where everyone gathers to talk about the day and spend time together away from the set.  It gets dark around 7pm so once dinner is over, people head back to their cabins for the night.  There is no night “activity room”.  People either chat in their cabins or hang out in the dining hall before calling it a night.

It’s always exciting to meet new people.  We’ve met quite the group of characters here at camp:

*There are two guys that take care of the camp grounds.  The older one is Charles and he lives on the grounds.  The other one is Porcupine and he lives up to his name.  His is 19, has a pointy beard and likes to throw knives into logs.

*Jake is a volunteer that is involved with a local boy scout chapter.  I met him while he was preparing to trim some of the trees.  He told me all about the wonders of Oregon with a smile that made think he was recalling some horrible deeds he committed in the recent past.  He excused himself to go work in the woods.  The next time I saw him he was running from one part of the woods to the other like Forest Gump with the grin of a crazy person.  He was waving the tree trimmer in the air and whistling at the top of his lungs.

*The lack of a decent internet signal has caused me to go into town a few times.  My first trip was a drive to Portland to exchange my Wi Fi hot spot.  One of the show producers was heading there to pick up some equipment so I went along for the ride.  I was told by AT&T technical support that I could exchange the device at any retailer.  I found an AT&T corporate store in Portland and was told the best thing for me to do was to go back to the town closest to camp and make the exchange there (in case I still had problems it would be easier to get to that location).  I made it to the local store later in the day only to discover the store did not have a device they were willing to give me (long story about the inconvenient and unyielding policies of AT&T) but I could easily get one back in Portland.  This 4-hour adventure involved me, Zach, a production assistant, AT&T employees telling me it would break the laws of the company to exchange the device in store after 14 days of my owning the hot spot, the random discovery of a Blockbuster store that is still in operation, the fact that AT&T corporate employees are not able (or willing) to dictate policy to their store employees and the music of Radiohead serving as the soundtrack of a drive through the wilds of Oregon at night.

*The next trip into town was in a cab driven by Malcom.  He is best described as a silver haired cab driver who wears a leather jacket with sleeves he cut off by himself.  Other facts about Malcom include:

A. He performs marriages as a side job

B. He has been married multiple times

C. The celebrities he has met in his life are Robert Blake, Steve McQueen and John Denver

D. He is the owner and only employee of the cab company and is on call 24/7

E. He has not slept a full night in 5 years

F. He loves to drive people home from bars so he can spread the gospel to them late at night

G. He once had a neighbor who was convinced Malcom’s dog could speak racial slurs

H. His cab has a photo of a horse on the side of the vehicle

I think that’s enough from camp for today.  I don’t want to share everything at once.

Talk to you soon from Camp Abercorn - "Ready To Go!"

#campabercorn

My Favorite Camp Abercorn Camper

Getting Ready For Scout Camp

Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm almost ready to travel to scout camp.  The flight to Oregon is this Saturday!  I can't believe it's almost time to meet my new friends.

The name of the scout camp I get to attend this year!

It's certainly going to be a change of pace from the heat of the San Fernando Valley.  Looking at the 10-day forecast shows highs in the 60s-70s and lows in the 40s.  We'll be in the Pacific Northwest Temperate Rainforest.  It's been too long since I've attended school to know what all of those big words mean for global warming, the melting ice caps and the need for sunscreen at camp.  I did follow your advice and bought a poncho and a sleeping bag so Zach and I can stay warm at night.

It looks like a movie set but it's a real scout camp.

I've been told there will be Internet access which is good because the MLB playoffs start this weekend and I want to keep up with the games.  Plus, how will I know what's happening in civilization if I can't watch TMZ???

The interior of the cabins.

I know you worry about me and my sense of direction.  No need to worry because there will be plenty of people there helping to make the TV show.  In fact, here is a photo of them hanging out at the camp tree house.

The fear of ridicule from my fellow campers will keep me from getting lost.

Finally, we'll all be eating our meals together.  We've been told to expect delicious, but basic, meals which pretty much describes my personal cooking style.  I should have no problem keeping my stomach full.

I have to go pack now.  If you get a chance, please send a care package.  You know how much I love crackers, s'mores, craft beer and comic books.  I promise to be good and share with my fellow campers.

I'll write again soon and let you know how things are going at camp.  I'll also let you know about Zach's adventures filming the pilot episode!

Here at Camp Abercorn, adventure is in the air!

I'm Attending Camp Abercorn With This Guy!

How Do I Prepare For An Audition?

I've been struggling to come up with a topic for a new blog post.  I'm not lacking in material because there is plenty of news to share about "Camp Abercorn".  The problem is I can't share it/don't want to share it until I talk to the "Abercorn Guys" to see what I can and can't say about the production.

The topic for this post came to me at the Italian Feast of San Gennaro.  I was leaving Second City last night to make my way home.  My exciting Saturday night plans involved writing a batch of SEO articles that are due ASAP.  Dana is out of town for work and Zach was hitting a movie with his pals.  I was on my way to the truck when I stumbled across the Italian Feast.  I'm not about to turn down the chance to get a homemade meatball sub so I decided the SEO articles could wait an extra 30 minutes.

I was in line behind four aspiring actors discussing the audition process. (Please see my blog post on September 11th for an idea of how frequently this happens in Los Angeles.  (Click Here For The "Talkin Hollywood Biz" Post) 

The struggling actors were discussing how nervous they get during auditions.  Their conversation made me think about all the times Zach has auditioned and what goes into preparing for the (as Tim Gunn would say) "Make It Work" moment of being in front of the casting director.

Step One:

Most people think the first step in audition prep is studying your lines.  While this is certainly an important part of the audition process, I believe the first step is reading the character breakdown and studying why the character acts the way he does in the script.  You can call it "character motivation".  You can call it the "character breakdown".  You can even call it "getting in the head of the character".  However you decide to phrase it, the reasons behind the actions of a character helps you focus as you learn your lines.  Knowing the character motivation makes the lines come alive for an actor.  The lines stop being words on a page and become real for the performer. 

Step Two:

Now that you have the sides (the script) in hand you need to prepare your wardrobe.  Don't go to the audition "in character".  Casting directors will always warn you against going to an audition in full costume.  Dress appropriately for your age as well as the part but don't arrive dressed like a police officer or a football player (especially if the script has nothing to do with those characters because that would just be weird).  

Don't dress too trendy or in an outfit that makes it look like you're trying too hard to impress the decision makers.  They want to see your acting chops and not your fashion style.

Step Three:

Be prepared to be professional.

I realize this sounds like the most obvious piece of advice but many actors don't remember it during an audition.  Some simple actions that help you stand out as being professional include:

*Arrive early to the audition.  Being on time is the same as being late in the eyes of casting directors.

*Be polite during your audition.  Don't get mad if you're asked to cold read.  Don't go off script unless you're directed to improvise a scene.

*When asked if you're available on certain days for callbacks and/or shooting dates, don't answer "yes" unless you're certain that you're free on those dates.  A quick way to lose the backing of a producer or casting director is to not be available on days you've already told them would be "no problem".

Step Four:

Do as much research in advance before you enter the audition room.  Learn all you can about the project as well as the director and producers.  Googling the casting director can help you get a better idea of the types of projects he or she casts.  In turn, this will help you discover the types of actors the CD favors in the audition process.

Step Five:

The final step is not to worry if you don't book the job.  The failure to book a job could easily lead to the landing of another part.  Zach has scored a few roles due to casting directors remembering him from other auditions and bringing him in later for a different part.  Every audition is a chance to practice your craft in front of a new audience.  Practicing in front of the mirror or with the same family members can lead to your acting becoming predictable.  The chance to play a part in front of different people is invaluable.

I hope the steps outlined above help you with your personal audition prep time.  I'd also like to thank the unknown actors in line with me for the post inspiration.

Finally, I hope that one day all of you can enjoy as awesome a meatball sandwich as I had at the Italian Feast!

This Kid Has Been Known To Enjoy A Meatball Sub!