I just deleted around 30 emails full of casting calls. I love reading through them because I'll always find a odd casting gem or two to share with you.
I hope you enjoy the seven "best" casting calls listed below:
***Film crew looking for 30+ female talent with a sexy smile and a desire to seduce other women with the power of her high voltage smile, sexy legs and love of squirrels.
(That's the kind of ad that makes me love creative types.)
***Looking for actors willing to do artistically shot nude scenes in the desert for a short film. Will pay for gas or sunscreen (one but not both).
(Do you choose the sunscreen to save your skin or the gas to get you out of the desert before you fry to death?)
***Seeking two actresses for a fun, but not sexual, hot tub scene where you play with battleships and have a rubber duck war.
(I might be alone in this opinion but what's more sexy than two women having a rubber ducky battle??)
***Do you picture yourself as a private detective? Want to solve crimes and get the girl? Looking for a 30-45 male with a well worn face who has been on the wrong side of a fist one too many times in the last few years. Crime solving experience is a plus but not necessary.
(I don't know if I count as "well worn" but I've been involved in a fistfight or ten in my lifetime.)
***Seeking Hispanic men ages 70-92 for gambling scene at a local casino. Must be able to sit for long periods of time, appear puzzled at the cards in front of you and curse like a marinero on camera.
(How about they just go to a casino and scan the crowd? I'm almost certain they'll find men of any ethnicity between the ages of 70-92 hanging out at the casino.)
***Ultra low budget indie film seeks background music at a VERY discounted rate. Samba or Cumbia desired the most. We can't pay much but you will get a credit in the film.
(Translates to...Our immediate family members will enjoy your music as no one else will ever see this film.)
***Need 40+ male actor to record a Chinese accent voice over. You will speak of many terrible things that have happened to you on your journey. Not accepting authentic Chinese VO artists at this time.
(There's no way to make fun of that ad. The stupidity speaks for itself.)
Do you fit any of the above casting calls? If so, get ready to be a star!!!
I Don't Feel This Actor Is Right For Any Of These Roles
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