The Return of My Top 10 Casting Notices

It's been too many months since we looked at Hollywood casting notices. Many of the auditions for Zach these days are for episodes of TV shows since it is Episodic Season. However, there are always parts to audition for in Hollywood. Let's take a long overdue look at my 10 favorite casting notices from the past few months for scripted shows as well as reality TV shows:

1. Do you have a messy room? Do you have a really messy room where even you aren't sure what is hiding at the bottom of the pile? We're looking for people 18-27 who live like slobs and want a room makeover. Must be willing to show you room on TV.
2. There's an app for success and it's our TV show! We're currently searching for people who have the next great app in mind and want the chance to share it with the world. You must be a United States citizen between 21-38 and have an app nobody has heard of before to be considered. Anyone with an idea similar to existing apps will be instantly kicked off the show. Apps must be realistic but innovative as well as forward thinking but comfortable to investors.
3. Looking for 25-32 female of any ethnicity to play single girl trapped in a room with a zombie. Must be willing to scream at loud volume for hours on end. Must sign waiver that any damage to your voice due to the screaming is not our responsibility.
4. How far will you go for your shot at fame? New movie casting female, 18-25, for part-documentary and part-scripted movie that is a comedy and a thriller. Willing to live with a complete stranger for a month while also having it filmed? FYI....You will have the chance to speak with the person before starting the living arrangement.
5. Looking for girls between 21-29 who are experts in flirting for a new series of short web videos. Kissing will be required so participants must be comfortable kissing for long periods of time in front of a crew.
6. Are you a contortionist? Know someone who is a contortionist? Can you do moves that make people gasp in shock and amazement? We're looking for male contortionists 20-50 for a feature film. Must be willing to show skills at audition.
7. Voice over actor with French accent needed to play a hedgehog in training for a marathon. Must be good at crying in French. 
8. Put your killer looks to work as "the killer" in our feature film. Looking for Latin female between 21-32 to play a seductive and deadly thief who steals hearts and trust funds at the same time. Must be well informed on financial issues and how trust funds work when it comes to penalties and restrictions. 
9. Do you like to sing and dance? Do you love to be the center of attention? If so, this is not the part for you. Looking for male 18-25 to play silent character who makes others uncomfortable with his silence and quiet intensity. No lines in movie or audition,
10. Seeking females of any ethnicity ages 40-55 to play mother figure to a group of teens who want to be acrobats. Must be flexible, agile and comfortable wearing tight fitting acrobat clothing. Bonus points if you're an actual acrobat.

Do any of these roles sound right for you? If so, you might be on your way to fame and fortune!

This actor is definitely not a contortionist.