Zach goes to an acting class in Beverly Hills every Thursday night from 6:30pm-9pm(ish). The class has really helped him open up as an actor and dig deep into his emotions.
It has also allowed me to realize the cliché is true - Beverly Hills is not a cheap place to kill time.
If I'm waiting on him by myself, I normally park at the acting studio and walk to the library. A great place to relax and grab some books at the same time.
If I'm with Dana, we get something to eat and then drive around talking about where to kill time. By the time we decide on a destination, it's usually time to get The Artist.
She went to the Beverly Center last night while I made my way back to the acting studio. I arrived around 8:30pm and listened to the Kings hockey game until intermission. The Dodgers were in a commercial break so I decided to listen to Radio Korea.
I'm not kidding.
I love Radio Korea. It's the music I remember announced in a language I don't understand on AM radio. You haven't really experienced "Welcome To The Jungle" until you've heard an excited Korean announcer playing the song on a static filled station.
It got to be around 8:50pm and I decided I should really use the free bathroom at the pet store next door before they closed at 9pm.
I walked in and there were a good seven people in line. I walked out of the bathroom two minutes later and there were no other customers.
One thing you have to realize about closing time at stores in Los Angeles:
There's no polite "we're closing so please bring your final purchases to the front". They just turn off the lights in the store as a sign for you to get out NOW!
I walked out of the bathroom to the sight of the lights turning off. I quickly walked to the front to depart and said "Have a good night" to the three workers. Two of them stared at me while the third one screamed, "Where did you come from????"
I didn't want to admit I was only there to use the bathroom. I told them I was in the back of the store and didn't know it was closing time until the lights started turning off. They asked me what I was looking for since I didn't have any items to purchase.
I quickly replied, "I was looking for a yak milk bone for my dog".
Doc loves yak milk bones. They are like doggy crack to him. He is sweet and loving until you try and take his yak milk bone from him. It's the only thing he will fight you for if you try and grab the bone from him.
I also knew I was safe because I've been in there before looking for yak milk bones and they don't carry them. I was free and clear.
The one guy on duty replied, "You're in luck! We just started carrying them."
Great.
I tried to talk my way out of it since they were closed but he insisted on giving me directions to the aisle where the yak milk bones were located.
I could hear them talking about me as I walked away from the front door. They were trying to determine if I was there to rob the place. I yelled, "By the way - I'm not a murderer!" from the back of the store. They laughed and the tension was gone between all of us.
I couldn't find the stupid yak milk bones that I didn't even want to buy. The male employee was on the loudspeaker telling me if I was getting warmer or colder in my search. He gave up on me and sent one of the girls back to help me.
She couldn't find the bones.
The second girl came back to help us in our search.
She couldn't find the bones.
The second girl screamed "MARVIN, WE CAN'T FIND THE YAK MILK BONES FOR THIS WHITE GUY!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs. Marvin left the front door and made his way to the back of the store to help us. It was now their sole mission in life to find the yak milk bones.
Marvin walked up to us and calmly said, "No wonder you can't find them. They're behind that pallet."
At last! My way out had arrived!
I thanked them for their time and effort and told them I would come back later after the pallet was not in the aisle. Marvin smiled and told me not to worry. He would be happy to move the pallet for me.
Marvin couldn't figure out how to move the pallet so I gave him a quick lesson in how to operate a pallet jack. The pallet was moved out of the way and the fabled yak milk bones were in sight.
I grabbed a pack of the bones and made my way to the front of the store. I was set to check out only to discover the cash register was turned off (since they didn't think there were any customers left in the store). I patiently waited for the register to turn on while the nice girl talked to me about her new fingernail polish.
I paid for the treats and left the building. The last words I heard from Marvin as he locked the door behind me?
"Thanks for not killing us."
Zach was walking out of acting class as I made my way to the car. I thought he was going to bust a gut laughing at me as I told him the story.
It was all worth it when I got home. The look of pure glee on Doc's face as he spotted the doggy crack made the whole adventure worth the weirdness.
The only downside to the night?
I have to find a new free bathroom destination in Beverly Hills.
The IMDB link to the kid that laughed at me last night
No comments:
Post a Comment